"A mental illness can impede on a person's ability to function. In this case they resort to copying the behaviour shown around them. They will try to mimic it perfectly, making sure to cross all their 't's and dot all their 'i's.
However there is a down side to this. A person may begin to feel numb or unsatisfied with their work. In the case of an anxiety disorder they may feel like the world is out to get them. They also may feel like they're not doing something correct, thus making them feel like all eyes are on them. Also, they may feel like they are not their own being, that they are a mere copy of those around them. This may enrage some, but it also may scare others.
I fall under the category of a scared person with an anxiety disorder and normally would not share this information out to you. However I need to feel...like me for once in my life. I don't want to feel like everyone else anymore." with a shaking body you began the oral part of your anxiety report. "One thing that brings on my anxiety is what I am doing currently, standing here in front of you. All of your eyes are on me and it's incredibly uncomfortable.."
Your teacher watched you with careful eyes as you continued. To anyone this would seem normal, but to you it felt like she was mentally judging your very being. It felt like it was her job to ridicule your life and make you feel very small.
The students however disliked you greatly, and some laughed quietly at you.
Your body began to tense up as your heart rate increased to far beyond normal. Soon your body began to convulse and your airways tightened as your tried desperately to get air. Your felt light headed as the anxiety controlled your body.
Your vision turned fuzzy as your breathing became more ragged and uneven. Soon whiteness was the only thing you saw as you felt your body hit the cold tile floor.
When you woke you found that the bed around you was not very comfortable, so you presumed you had been carried to the nurse's office. Your eyes fluttered open only to find that you also were not alone.
"Are you alright?" a boy from your health class questioned as concern laced his voice.
With a small nod you sat up and held your head.
"You may want to lay down..." he stated as gently hands pushed you back into your former position.
"D-Did you carry me here?" you asked as a splitting headache began to form in the frontal part, roughly near your eyes.
He gave a quick nod before sighing. "The teacher wanted me to stay here with you, to see if you were alright."
You gave a small nod as you placed your hands over your face. "Can you close the curtains, at least a little? My head hurts..."
The blond got to his feet and closed the medical curtains a bit. "Better?" he asked.
"Much better..." you thanked him.
"You took quite a fall..." he commented in the same concerned voice as earlier.
You searched your brain for a normal response but nothing came up so you simply nodded and looked in his general direction. "So, what's your name?" you questioned, trying to lighten the mood and change the topic.
"Arthur, and you are?"
He looked to the ceiling and that's when you noticed his outfit. He was decked out in full British punk attire and he wasn't that bad to look at.
You hadn't noticed you were staring until you heard him chuckle.
"What? Never seen a punk before, love?" he questioned teasingly.
You blushed heavily and searched again for a response that would fit this situation. "N-No it's not that- I just-I-" your head began to spin again but not in it's normal way. You're heart fluttered but didn't quicken and cause your breathing to be rushed.
He laughed a little, and it hurt you a bit on the inside. "I'm only teasing." he smiles.
You stared at him for a moment, processing the information. "Oh." was your only way of responding.
"So who do you usually hang out with?" he questioned. "I don't really see you around a lot."
You grew quiet, ever since your anxiety had gotten worse you hadn't been around your friends. Usually you'd find an empty table and draw. It helped you focus, so that you wouldn't have a panic attack.
"I-I'm usually alone..." you whispered, voice drenched in loneliness.
"Why?" he inquired.
"I-I pushed all my friends away...It became to difficult and I didn't want to be a burden..."
He gave you a questioning look before remembering what your report had been on. "Oh.." he said. "So you have anxiety?"
"Severely....to the point of almost minor paranoia." you looked away, ashamed that you had to admit this.
He looked sorry as his emerald eyes searched you. "You need friends..." he advised. "They'll be able to help, trust me."
"That's a tall order to ask..." you reminded him thoughtfully.
He nodded. "Right anxiety also has to do with the distrust in others..."
You nodded in return as he scratched the back of his neck nervously.
"Well...then I'll be your friend. How about that?"
It took you a minute to process the suggestion and you didn't know any way of responding.
He watched you fumble with your thoughts cautiously.
"I-...I guess." you managed out.
He nodded and gave you a crooked smile."Good." he commented. "You can sit with me at lunch."
It had been a while since you had sat with anyone so a small smile tugged at the corners of your lips. "Okay."
A sudden ringing made you jump and Arthur chuckled.
"It's only the bell." he teased sweetly as he stretched out a hand.
You giggled a little in response this time around and allowed him to help you up.
"Are you feeling well enough to walk?" he questioned as he grasped your elbows.
"Y-Yea." you stuttered, once again feeling your heart flutter gently.
"Okay" he whispered and let go as he eyed your carefully, making sure you weren't lying. When he was finally convinced that you were stable enough his eyes softened. "Shall we head to lunch then?" he questioned sweetly.
You gave a small nod in return, allowing your (e/c) orbs to glisten with happiness.